REFLECTION

 

 

Look at me, and what do you see? Some years back that really mattered to me. How much I cared about what other people saw me as, what I looked like through the lens of another homosapien’s optics and the adulations from the world until I disengaged from that school of thought.

An inexplicably talented young woman wrote a song I fell head over heels in love with and its lyrics amidst other excruciating soul searching exercise became consequential of my disengagement from the “what do you see” cul de sac and got me trailing the paths of a brand new close I love to call “what do I see” and I ceased from there on to ask the question I opened with because I realized that the efficacy of the answer that follows could come from only one source- me! No mortal could ever unravel the intricacies of another mortal’s being and shed light to the stark darkness of a man’s core save for divinity and man himself and so I made a vow to look inwards always. Not totally disregarding exterior opinions of course but meticulously after intense inward ferocious foraging, subject the exterior opinions to evaluation by the internal findings.

So, each time I stand in front of my body sized mirror, I ask myself this- who is this woman I see starring straight back at me? Trust me, sometimes, my reflection is someone I don’t know! Sometimes I cannot hide who I am even though I try and I wonder endlessly when my reflection will show who I really am inside. It is certainly an odyssey but every day I discover the woman starring straight back at me, I get closer to unraveling the enigma, me!

Maybe you have entirely discovered who you are or you are embarked on the odyssey to fathom out whom you are, I hope you find the paths that takes you straight home and I say congratulations to you respectively! But if you do not fall into any of the mentioned categories, that implies one thing- you are still groping in the dark, struggling and seeing yourself from the optics of the world which in almost all cases is disadvantaged and I am putting myself under the moral obligation to announce to you today that   an imminent danger of inevitable abuse looms like in the saying “a misunderstanding of purpose results inevitably in an abuse of an invention”.

Of all the wonders of creation, a mortal is the most mercurial and so self discovery becomes a herculean but eminently significant task!
Who is the man or woman that stares back at you when you look in the mirror? What does your reflection show?
 
Allow me a partial digression; I would love to share a tale of quaint events, of the times when man survived primarily on hunting and fruit gathering and lived in caves.  In the days of the early man who enjoyed virgin nature- landscapes, sky, water even the air lived two brothers. One beloved of his father and the other prejudiced. The father loved his younger son so dearly because he was a chip of the old block. His voice, physique, gait, behavior everything was his father’s but his strength. The old man gazed upon his younger son as a reflection of himself and loathed his eldest son for his strength which was the only thing he had genetically inherited from his father; he wished his younger son had got that too!

Life in the cave was torment for the older son, he did all the hard work- hunting and gathering fruits while the favored son got the best piece of meat and ripest fruits and so was the status quo. Boys became lads and lads became young men but not a thing changed, the old man saw to that.

Several years of being discriminated against eventually rubbed off on the older son and all he ever saw of himself became what he saw through his father’s eyes in a lifetime of futile efforts to get his father’s approval.

However, several dusks and dawns passed and the young men reached a marriageable age. The ruler of the kingdom had announced that all young men enter into a competition that would require them to embark on an arduous journey fraught with outlandish occurrences for the hand of his only daughter. It would be a test of hubris, strength, compassion and wit. The young man that returns successful would be made husband to the ruler’s daughter and next in the line of ruler ship.

All the young men entered the competition with fervor; the old man personally entered his beloved son. He wished for nothing more than him marrying the ruler’s daughter and becoming next in line, that way he knew he had fulfilled his paternal responsibilities and would meet his ancestors a happy man.

It was the night before the journey the elder son got wind of the ruler’s proclamation. He had been on a hunting expedition and his father had deliberately kept the news from him, that bit of information he had got in the middle of a heated dissension with his father. The old man without flinching had told him in these words “I look at you and you know what I see, a hunter and a fruit gatherer. You cannot obviously be interested in entering into a competition that could make you the most powerful person in this kingdom, even if you have the strength, it is not who you are or could ever be”. Stung by the venom in his father’s tongue, the young man ran into the forest.

On a hunting trip, he had discovered a hill in the forest which had become his haven. A brook ran through it and the water settled in its crest. He had in the past drunk from its refreshing water when ravished with thirst but that night, he wasn’t thirsty. He was hurt, frustrated and angry. The moon shone brightly and lit the hill beautifully; he gazed into the water in the crest and saw his reflection. His father’s words came rushing back and all he saw was the image that had being ingrained in his mind his entire life, that of a lonely hunter, loathed by his father.  
 
 Suddenly, out of the horizon, he heard a faint voice urging him to look closer into the water, at his reflection. He did, and the voice asked him this question- who is staring back at you?
With a grimace, he answered, a hunter, hated by his father of course.
The soft voice prompted him to look again, this time it urged him to see from his heart and not from his father’s assertions. His answer was of course different, he saw a young intelligent strong hunter.
Finally, the voice asked him if the man he saw could embark in the competition and conquer.
He smiled and answered, “you have no idea what that man has conquered while out hunting” and immediately, he caught an epiphany! He dashed out of the forest and hurried to the kingdom; all young men were gathered and set to leave. He declared his intention to partake in the quest and was granted permission against his father’s plea and argument.

You can tell who returned successful! Years of hunting alone paid off as he was able to stand the hardship of the quest. In fact, His favored brother only returned alive because of his help. Astonished, his father with uttermost regret begged for his forgiveness. He became next in line and his family moved to a cave in the ruler’s vicinity. When asked how he was able to accomplish his quest, his reply was-“ I looked through my heart and I  recognized the man starring back at me as someone who could make it”
When you look at the mirror, what do you see?
“Reflection is the business of man; a sense of his state is his first duty: but who remembereth himself in joy? Is it not in mercy then that sorrow is allotted unto us? ” WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.